“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)
I left the counseling session feeling stripped. Not in a bad way, mind you; just disabused from any ways of thinking that were dragging me down, relationally. Isn’t it remarkable how you walk around feeling normal and then you undergo a change in your thought pattern or process and while your personhood comes out intact, you end in seeing your former mindset as thoroughly ineffective? Amazing. Because you don’t see bad thinking, while you’re in it, for what it is. I certainly didn’t know I was harboring some strain of thought (like an evil gear) that would’ve prevented me from meeting the person to whom the Lord would have wanted to introduce me. I brought the handwritten notes the pastor’s wife had taken down during our time together and folded it in quarters and retained them. She illustrated her idea of “clashing” for me and I wanted to really meditate on what she was saying—what I felt God was saying to me, through her. As I absorbed this newfound idea of “clashing”, it came to be symbolized by two gears. But that’s not clashing, is it? If two cars collide, that’s “clashing”. But if two gears (remember, one by itself is not a machine) rotate towards one another, they will continue to rotate and rotate by virtue of their cogs, or “teeth”. And yet I couldn’t see this. The symbolism doesn’t fit as solidly as it should to facilitate smooth cognition. I left the counseling session and shortly thereafter, the church (my friend and I elected start our own small-group thing) but that piece was temporarily broken for me.
“There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (Proverbs 16:25)
Going forward, I suppose the lesson learnt here would be that God doesn’t intend for us to run in place. In the case of my parents’ marriage (both of whom are divorced from one another), they did not mesh (symbolically speaking) and as such, things broke. But going forward requires that Third Wheel. And it goes without saying that God’s Spirit would need to be that Spirit within. My cognition has smoothed remarkably in the wake of the experiences at my old church, and I am more than grateful to have encountered the people there and still count them my friends.
“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and His disciples, to the marriage.” (John 2:1-2)
In case you haven’t noticed, the whole point of this little story of mine is Marriage. If we as couples and as Christian individuals (the latter always precedes the former) do not have the Lord Jesus Christ as both the center and also (symbolically speaking) the third wheel to our transmission, we won’t go anywhere and eventually, we will break down.