Running in place
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” (Habbakuk 2:3)
Sometimes God lets you glimpse the future. And then the very ordinary (spiritually speaking) work of faith comes in to play. To where you must–with the Holy Spirit’s help–uphold the veracity of what you saw way back when you felt nearer to God. The fact that you don’t feel near to God at present (assuming you don’t) doesn’t have any bearing on His proximity to you. In other words, God’s as close to you as He’s always been and He loves you the same. If it isn’t some fault of our own as to why we don’t feel Him (also a thing), then He’s letting us wade around in deeper places of darkness than we had felt before. This? This is a gift and a privilege.
“O God, Thou art my God; early will I seek Thee: my soul thirsteth for Thee, my flesh longeth for Thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see Thy power and Thy glory, so as I have seen Thee in the sanctuary. Because Thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise Thee.” (Psalm 63:2-4, emphasis mine)
When you endeavor to slow down your (already routine) day and bring it into alignment with the speed you feel God is walking, something happens to you. If you continue in this mindset and really prove to God out of desire that you want to follow Him in deeper and deeper ways, He will take you up on it. First, I believe, He’ll make sure you’re serious. Then, He’ll give you a flash of insight and key you in to that place in His heart (He has a very big heart–room enough for everyone) you’re called to represent to the world at large. And then? You’re free to do as you will. This doesn’t mean you get to do just anything. Alongside the newfound living presence of God brought to you by the Holy Spirit, is a greater sensitivity to Him and also anything that would distract or divert you from continuing on to the light at the end.
“I therefore so run not as uncertainly; so fight i, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” (1 Corinthians 9:26-27)
See, the truth is, you’re never alone when you feel alone and there’s never not anything going on. You accepted the Lord and if you’ve done the bare minimum–something so simple as taking one more step–then God has you in His tractor beam, so to speak. Sometimes the whole of your present spiritual life is akin to isometric exercise. Where all you’re doing is working out what God has worked in. In spite of who you used to be.